Thanks to social media, it’s common to look back to see what we were doing on this day one year, five years or even 10 years ago. It’s normally a time to celebrate a great memory or occasion. But on 13 September, I won’t be fondly remembering what happened to me a year ago. Because on 13 September 2024, I went into hospital for a stoma reversal operation and unfortunately what was meant to be a routine procedure, turned into emergency, life-saving surgery.
The days and months that followed literally tested every part of me. My resilience, my mindset and my ability to keep going forwards were severely compromised as it felt like everything had been turned upside down. But what happened also meant that I learnt a lot about myself. And the Winnie the Pooh saying – “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem,” couldn’t have summed up my recovery more eloquently.
Dig Deep
Now we’ve all heard the phrase ‘dig deep,’ well that perfectly surmises the journey that I have been on since that fateful day. Not only have the memories at some points been overwhelming, but the process of healing has not been straightforward either. There were good days, when I could see the future in front of me and then there were darker times when it was a struggle just to keep functioning.
Showing Up
As a result, during the last year, I’ve had plenty of wobbles when the emotional side of what I went through catches me off guard. But I’ve learnt that resilience doesn’t mean never wobbling, it means recognising the wobble, honouring it, and still showing up.
Many people may have been unaware of my struggles, after all some battles are best conducted in private. But I think that as someone who classes themselves as a survivor, I have a duty to share what it means to rebuild, to reflect, and to keep moving forward even when times are exceptionally hard. Because let us not forget that behind every professional success story is a human story too. It might not be pretty, but it’s important to acknowledge the perseverance, grit, and resilience that we as humans display in overcoming obstacles, failures, and setbacks, rather than focusing solely on our achievements or innate talents.
You Got This
So to anyone else navigating their own silent battles, I see you. You’re not alone, and you’re stronger than you think and you’ve got this. Here are some top tips for how to manage your mental and emotional wellbeing when you’re facing personal adversity:
- Look after your physical health – eat a balanced diet, stay active and concentrate on getting plenty of rest and sleep.
- Prioritise your mental and emotional wellbeing by managing unhelpful thoughts, sticking to routines and pacing yourself.
- Seek social and professional support through connections with friends, family or the wider community.
- Adopt a growth mindset so you can stop feeling stuck and instead see challenges as opportunities for learning.
- Set realistic goals – break any objectives into small, achievable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
- Focus on abilities – don’t compare yourself to a past version of you; focus instead on what you can do now and modify your expectations.
- Be kind to yourself by acknowledging what you are facing/or have faced and be compassionate to yourself during the recovery process.
If you’ve faced hardship, misfortune, struggles, difficulties or setbacks, what did you learn about yourself and how did that knowledge shape your way forward? For advice, help and support in navigating a new pathway, please get in touch by emailing debby@total-spectrum.com
