Millions of English people this week are coming to terms with the feelings of loss. Until the 86th minute of Sunday night’s Euro final, we all believed passionately that our team could win. But in what is turning out to be a familiar pattern, our boys were pipped at the post by, in my opinion, a better side. But for the last 5 weeks, as a nation we have come together and dared to dream that maybe this time, was our time.
Losing is tough, we’re consumed with frustration, disappointment and anger at the things we think went wrong. We question our decisions and performance; we think through all our mistakes and look for the reasons why we lost so we can find immediate solutions. But what we often forget is to look at how far we’ve come, how hard we may have worked and above all think of what we could do better next time.
Losing is part of the journey
Whilst winning is obviously what we all strive for, there are valuable lessons we should take on board whenever we lose. One thing to bear in mind is that we shouldn’t dwell on the things we cannot control. Another point is that by learning to lose gracefully, you can develop a system to deal with failures and come back stronger and smarter. Remember, losing is not the opposite of winning, instead it’s part of the journey towards success. We should therefore embrace our failures, learn from them, and use them to fuel our drive to future success.
Easy to say, but the reality might feel quite different for those who’s levels of disappointment are unprecedented. Whether in sport, business or your personal life, it’s impossible to win at everything and in football, we need to acknowledge that often nothing goes according to plan but ultimately, we know that there will always be one winner and one loser.
Keep going
However when loss comes our way in terms of our job or career, perhaps in the form of a failed promotion, redundancy, a tender that we didn’t win or a team decision that we didn’t sign up to, it’s important for us to keep going. Possibly try to turn the negatives into something that we can learn from and improve upon. Essentially, whatever has happened, we need to remember that there is more work to do, maybe changes to be made and we may also need to develop further skills or learn something different in order to avoid being in this position again.
Top tips for bouncing back from losing
- Take time to acknowledge your feelings and work through them rationally. All the time remembering that there are lessons that there are valuable lessons that can be learnt.
- Keep things in perspective. You may feel rubbish today, but a month or a year from now, things will look and feel different.
- Remember you are amazing and don’t ever doubt your worth. Use it as a time to rethink your goals and objectives. It could be a wake-up call to make some changes that you’ve shied away from.
- Continue to learn and build your skill levels. By tapping into a growth mindset you will be able to build resilience.
- Connect and build relationships with people who will support and help you to grow. Helping others can be useful as not only are you making a difference, but you are also growing your influence.
Finally, setbacks happen every day to everyone. It’s what we do next that matters. I agree with Albert Einstein on this – “Failure is success in progress.” – Albert Einstein. So, if you can navigate your way through disappointment and then take charge to make the most of your situation and move on, on your own terms, then you will be able to discover personal success.
How I can help
If you feel that you may need additional help to reframe failure and become more successful, please get in touch. Call Luke Clayton 07904 620980 or email luke@total-spectrum.com
