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“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” RuPaul.

What kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Are you the sort of person who is good at taking care of your own needs, can stay in touch with your emotions, accept your weaknesses, embrace your strengths and generally won’t settle for less than you deserve? Or do you think that self-love is a bit weird and that you should first and foremost be caring for others and putting your own needs, including your health and wellbeing, on the back burner?

Appreciate your value

Believe it or not when you love yourself, you appreciate your own worth or value. You no longer feel the need to compare yourself to others, or seek affirmation from family, friends and work colleagues that you are good enough, worthy enough, cleverer enough, attractive enough—you simply know that you are. This in turns can lead to higher levels of self-worth, self-respect and self-confidence, as well as an increase in positive thoughts and happiness.

Top tips for self-love

Here are some top tips for how to increase your self esteem and learn to love yourself.

  1. Be kind and forgive yourself – accept what you can’t change, learn from your mistakes, and understand that you always do your best.
  2. Take ownership of your feelings and emotions and stop blaming others for things where you know you were in the wrong.
  3. Give yourself permission to make mistakes – no one is perfect and to err is human and can often lead to great learning.
  4. Be grateful for what you have – friends, job, home, holidays and remember how fortunate you are.
  5. Celebrate your achievements – take time to reflect and congratulate yourself on what you have done.
  6. Change how you talk to yourself – ditch the negativity and big yourself up. Stop mentally placing yourself in the corner!
  7. Reprioritise and make sure that you put yourself first and have some fun – don’t feel guilty, just enjoy yourself.
  8. Trust yourself to make good decisions – listen to your inner voice (gut) and stop doubting yourself or your abilities.
  9. Remove negative, unsupportive or toxic relationships – if you know you have people in your life who are negative, judgemental, controlling, angry or moody, it’s time to give them the heave-ho.
  10. Push yourself out of your comfort zone so you can build your creativity, open new vistas, learn more about yourself and reach new goals.
  11. Take opportunities, or create them, so you can give yourself permission to relax, recharge and reassess as well, as finding ways to learn, develop and grow
  12. Find your purpose – become bold and questioning, use your voice to ask for what you want and importantly stand up for yourself.
  13. Stop feeling overwhelmed by the bad parts of your life. Instead go out every day and try to see beauty in simple things around you – remember to write them all down.
  14. Take credit for good things happening – don’t be afraid of saying, yes that was down to me and feeling proud as a result.
  15. Give back – the act of giving makes us feel happy, plus it’s proven to increase your sense of purpose/meaning in life.

How can I help?

So next time you start to doubt yourself and feel yourself slipping back to old ways, breathe deeply, give yourself a small hug, and get in touch – 07780 692784 or With my help you will be able to learn how to practice self-love and embrace your full potential.

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